Triple Cappuccino Mocha Oneshotish
by Alizorah
Summary: What comes out of boredom and too much caffeine at midnight. A collab fic with my dear friend EddieKickAxe. How Tomb Raider: Underworld may have played out if Professor Eddington hadn't been available after Bolivia, when Lara's last resort is the help from a certain other notorious American professor...but that is, of course, only his part time job.
1. Prologue

**PROLOGUE**

* * *

One day at Marshall College, a mysterious envelope was left on the desk of Doctor Henry Jones Jr., known to most as Indiana. He sat down, picking it up and opening the envelope. Inside was a hand-written letter, with a phone number written on the outer flap. Unfolding it, he read silently:

_Dear Dr. Jones-_

_I've recently sought help from an old friend of mine, Professor Eddington, of the Cavendish Laboratory at the University of Cambridge. Unfortunately, my technical assistant wasn't able to get a hold of him, and instead I was redirected to you by his secretary. She notified me that Eddington had entrusted many of his files to you. If you're willing to look through them, it'd be a great help if you'd come across any documents entitled with 'Avalon'._

_From what I've heard, you should be just as, if not more, capable to aid me in getting the information I need. To contact me, either respond to this letter or dial the number I've given to you on the back. Zip will most likely be the one to pick up, however, so you'll need to ask for me._

_Sincerely,_

_Lara Croft._


	2. Nazi Zombies

**Chapter 1: Nazi Zombies**

As Indiana Jones finished up reading the letter, his best friend Marcus Brody walked in and swiped the letter out of his hands before he could react. "Lara Croft?"

"Yeah, I've heard about her before. Apparently nobody really knows if she's an archaeologist, or just a grave robber."

"Like you?" Brody said, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah."

"So what _are_ you?"

He grinned. "Whatever I need to be."

Brody paced around the office, and Indy cleaned his glasses. "So you're going to help her?"

"I guess so...Her letter isn't very detailed, so I don't how much how much help I'll be, but she's a fellow archaeologist, right?"

"But remember all the other times you worked with a woman? There was Elsa, and Willie..."

"I get it, but it always worked out in the end."

"Oh yes. As I recall, Elsa ended up being a Nazi."

"Okay, must you piss me off over the past?"

"Yeah."

Brody, a natural klutz, preceded to drop the envelope the letter came in. A small slip of paper slid across the floor. Brody picked it up. Immediately his eyes grew huge and he let out a wolf whistle. "It came with a photograph."

"Gimme that!" Indy snatched the picture away. He looked at it and smiled. "That settles it. Brody, grab my hat, we're going to England."

* * *

Sweat ran down her neck and arms, heat and adrenaline coursing through her body. Lara had been in Croft Manor's gym for hours- while before it had been pitch-black outside, as she jumped down from a high balance beam to the floor and looked up, she saw through the windowed roof that the sun was up high in the sky. Fixing the long brown ponytail that had mostly fallen out by now, she made her way back to the main hall.

"Hey, Lara!" Zip called out to her from the tech room as soon as she emerged. She walked over to his desk in the glass-walled room. "That dude from Marshall called a few hours ago."

Lara took her pistols from their holsters and plopped them on the table, then looked at Zip. "Why didn't you tell me before? I specifically told you that I needed to speak with him." She reminded him.

"Well, one, I was on the ninth round of Nazi Zombies, two, I didn't wanna wake up Alister or Winston, and, three, I also just didn't wanna bother you. You were, like, in the zone."

Lara gave him a dull stare. "In the zone?"

Zip nearly smacked a hand to his face. "Right. You and your English ways."

"British, Zip. British. It's a nationality. English is a language. And I'm quite aware of what 'in-the-zone' means. I'm just not much of one who finds the need of using slang."

"Whatever." Zip started. "I don't get why that is, though. I mean, you live in England, so...why not just call it English? Like, I know it's also called Britain, which means you're British, but then if you're from America, you're _still_ English! So does that make me like some kind of weird, British, hybrid thing that-"

"_Zip_!" Lara exclaimed, interrupting his rant. "What did he say?"

"Who?"

Lara raised an eyebrow at him. "Zip..." She growled.

"Oh right, right." Zip remembered, then picked up a sticky note he'd just scribbled on. "Well, he said he found the documents you asked for, and that he'd be here by tomorrow morning."

Lara picked her guns up again, then started for her room. "Lovely."


	3. I'M a conceited ape?

**Chapter 2: "I'M a conceited ape?"**

"It's lovely that Miss Croft is letting us stay at her estate while we're here." Brody said to no one in particular. He had been leaning on the window, intently watching the landscape of England roll by, and his friend Indy attempted to sleep in the seat next to him, his hat tipped over his face.

"Brody, you've been talkin' about her for the past three hours. Just shut your trap or I'll shut it for ya'."

The driver suddenly spoke. "We shall be arriving in Croft Manor in five minutes, sir."

"Thank God." Indy mumbled.

"Excellent! I can't wait to see the manor!" Brody exclaimed.

"Remind me why I took you again?"

* * *

The doorbell at Croft Manor rang loudly, alerting the residents to the guests' arrival.

"WINSTON! GET THE DOOR!" Zip yelled, despite the fact that he was lounging on the couch only feet away from the entrance. Winston rolled his eyes, but proceeded to open the door anyway. A man leaned in the doorway with his hat tipped slightly over his face. He wore a brown leather jacket over a white t-shirt, along with pair of brown pants to match.

"Hi. I'm Indiana Jones." He said. He extended his hand to Winston, who welcomed him into the Manor.

"Dr. Jones," A female voice echoed through the large main hall. They all looked up towards the grand staircase to see the woman descending down the steps. She wore her dark auburn-brown hair in a long braid that hung nearly to her waist, shorter strands hanging loose at the sides of her face. She sported a blue V-neck tank top, and black pants tucked into a pair of dark combat boots. She shook Indiana's hand as she approached. "I'm Lara. I hope you didn't have any trouble getting here. I greatly appreciate you coming."

"No problem."

At this Brody appeared, tripping over most of the steps and carrying all of their bags. Winston managed to catch him on threshold, and took their bags away.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Miss Croft!" He said, and shook her hand furiously.

"And you must be Mr. Marcus Brody, I presume?" Lara replied, discreetly wiping her hand behind her back.

"Please, just call me Brody." He said, making the biggest grin possible.

"Winston, show them to their rooms please. We can start working after are guests are well-rested."

* * *

Indiana Jones, sick of Brody and itching to start working, decided to go explore Croft Manor. Donning his hat, whip, and pistol, he retraced his steps, and emerged in the main hall. It was empty except for the man called "Zip", who was in the glass paneled room. He quickly pressed against the wall and peered into the window. Zip was listening to music and didn't seem to be aware of anything around him. Indy waited until he turned the other way and sprinted across the hall. He entered the door in the far left corner to make sure he was far away from Zip and followed the long corridor. He entered and watched Lara jumping from pole to pole. He grinned, and grabbed the nearest rock wall.

"So, I got you the notes, but you weren't very specific as to why you needed them." Indy said inbetween breaths. He was now standing on the platform the climbing wall led to. Lara jumped from ledge to ledge until she stood on the same platform as him.

"I'll explain later, when everyone is present."

"Aren't we all here?"

"No, I'm waiting for a friend to fly in from Utah." Lara then spied a nearby bar and leapt from the platform to reach it. Once hanging, she swung herself to the other platform. She then made a triumphant smirk to challenge Indy. "I can swing back and get you if you like."

"Won't be necessary doll." Before she could say anything, he pulled out his whip and swung to the other side. He coiled it back up and tilted his hat. "Not bad for a teacher huh?"

Lara huffed and jumped to a vertical column, which she balanced on top of. Indy took a step back. "Aw crap." He mumbled. He looked around, but the only thing he could find was the light hanging from the ceiling, and a ledge beyond. He took a deep breath and whipped the light. He swung and almost made it, but he missed the ledge and came crashing into the pool below. Lara quickly slid down the column and stood by the edge of the pool. Indy swam over and crawled out, coughing water onto the gym floor.

"Damn, I thought that was closer."

Lara held back a laugh. "Well, those lights weren't meant to be used as gym equipment."

"Yeah, I should remember that from now on," Indy muttered, getting up off the floor. Then he looked up at Lara with curiosity. "So..." He began. "Who's this friend you mentioned?"


	4. AWOL

**Chapter 3: "AWOL"**

"ALISTER! GET THE DOOR!"

Peering over the edge of the book he'd been intently reading, up until the rude interruption, Alister gave Zip a dull glare.

"You've no need to scream your bloody head off, I'm sitting right next to you." He complained.

"Uh-huh. You want me to do it again?" Zip asked sarcastically, and the doorbell promptly rang a second time. "Get the door."

Alister groaned, but didn't protest. He got up from his seat, exiting the glass-walled tech room and walking through the foyer to the entrance, opening the door. A man stood before him, with a head of dark, mildly unkempt hair that fell over a pair of extraordinarily blue eyes.

"This Croft's place, right?"

_Delightful. Another American_. "Well, if you mean _Lara_Croft's place, then indeed it is. And who..." Alister gave the man a quick look-over from head to toe, adjusting his glasses as he squinted through them. "...are you?"

The man raised an eyebrow at him. "Someone important. Now are you gonna let me inside or do I have to stay out in this crappy weather?" Alister then made the observation that it had begun to rain. And he also noted that 'Someone Important' had a gun, settled in a holster that slung around his shoulders_. Ah. Another special friend of Lara's, I see..._

"Fine. Come on in, then." Alister lead him past the threshold, just as Lara and a soaking-wet Indy walked out of the gym. Lara froze in her steps as she saw the newcomer. He smirked at the sight of her.

"Long time, no see." He said, walking up to them.

"Kurtis." Lara said, smiling. "This is Dr. Indiana Jones, from Marshall College. He'll be helping out as well."

"Pleasure." Kurtis said as he shook hands with Indy, and then made a slightly disgusted look as he wiped off the chlorinated water on the side of his pants.

The three stood awkwardly for a moment, the only sound being the drops of water that fell to the ground as Indy wrung out a corner of his shirt. "So, uh...this is your friend. From Utah."

"Yes. Well, we met in Paris years ago, but only a few months back have we gotten in touch." Lara explained, glimpsing at Kurtis as she did so. There was a peculiarly odd look they had between each other, which made Indy wonder. _Old boyfriend maybe?_He thought with amusement. As though he'd said the words out loud, Kurtis shot an aggressive glare at him.

"I'm not her boyfriend, and I never was." Kurtis hissed.

"I didn't say-"

"Yeah, but you thought it." He then turned his focus to Lara once again. "If ya don't mind, I'm gonna go put my stuff upstairs, kay?" Lara nodded with a small smile, and he was off.

"You should go dry up." She suggested to Indy after she watched Kurtis ascend the last steps.

Indy looked down at his soaked attire. "Good idea..."

"Before you do, however, I may suggest you to keep in mind that Kurtis isn't a man to be tampered with-" Lara added with a pause, certain memories floating back into her mind. "-and don't underestimate his abilities." She then walked over to join her two companions in the tech room.

Indy took off his hat, shaking the water out of it. "Not a man to be tampered with. Pfft." He scoffed, repeating Lara's words. "Yeah._ Right_."

xxx

"Alister, my man, you gotta try this stuff!"

"Get that bottle away from me!"

Whilst getting everyone to gather in the main hall, Zip was busy shoving a bottle of hand sanitizer in Alister's face.

"Seriously. Just take a whiff. " Zip pressed on, forcefully offering the bottle with the lid popped open, his eyes widened with a somewhat crazed look.

Alister scrunched his nose at the strong smell, and shoved Zip's hand away. "No, no, no! I refuse to inhale an antiseptic substance!" He rubbed his nose, nearly sneezing from the aroma. "An antiseptic substance with a near 70% alcohol level, mind you!"

Zip stared at him, then shook his head in disappointment. "Fine." He sighed, bringing the bottle up to his own nose. "More for me." _Sniff_.

Alister shook his own head in pity. "I'll be sure to laugh when you die from overdose of ethanol, and other various chemicals fatal to be ingested in the human body. You, sir, are a shamefully dim-witted man."

Zip sniffed again, goofily smiling as a trail of drool dripped from the corner of his lips. "Heh. You got a purty mouth."

"Oh, _God_."


End file.
